Gaming Culture & Rape

Rape (verb): To force to have sexual intercourse. 

Rape is an extremely packed word. It conjures images of violence, aggression, force, and helplessness. It’s a real threat that’s frequent and close to home. In the United States, someone is raped every 2 seconds. Out of these yearly 213,000 rape victims, 60% won’t report the rape to police. Of the rapists that do get reported, 15/16 won’t serve jail time. Rape isn’t something to be taken lightly. 

Why then, has “rape” become a popular slang term in gaming culture? 

 Rape, in gaming culture, means a situation where one side is overwhelmed and powerless. It can be a negative insult (“That guy raped me” = He beat me drastically) or a positive brag (“We totally raped that team” = We were better than them) depending which side of the helplessness one is on. It’s a term that is thrown around carelessly in online multiplayer matches, by gamers young and old. 

Apart from having violent connotations, rape also has serious implications against women. Statistically women are more often the victims of rape than men. When used in the context of gaming,  “rape” is used as a tool to de-masculinate opponents. By “raping” someone, the player is asserting dominance, masculinity, and power.  This focus on masculinity further perpetuates the ideology of a “boys only” gaming environment.

While the slang is usually aimed at men, the tone of “rape” shifts drastically when directed at female gamers. The website Fat, Ugly, or Slutty allows female gamers to send in examples of online harassment (usually from men), which is then posted in a humorous manner. Most of the posts show men asking for sexual favors or calling the female gamer a “whore”, however, the posts that mention raping them often stand out above others. They tend to straddle the line between the slang and dictionary definition of rape. In one post, a male gamer, frustrated about being rejected an online match with a female player, says via Xbox message, “you are a dumb slut, you stupid whore. I would rape you 1V1…” (http://fatuglyorslutty.com/2012/01/13/any-more-would-be-uncivilized/). In this context, he’s using the word rape to describe the action of beating her at 1V1, asserting that he’s a better player at that particular game type. However, the messages quickly change tone when he mentions, “I’m going to do the world a favor and rape you 18 times”. In this message, he is threatening to sexually assault the female gamer. Rapes definitions, and the implications that go along with them,  can easily switch when directed at women. It’s a term that blurs the line between a slang word and a real threat.  

No matter what the definition or use, the word rape encourages violence, creates an unequal power relation, and disempowers women. It is a term that should not be taken lightly. Gaming culture is created by the gamers, so if you want to make a positive influence do not use the word rape as slang. It may seem like you’re not making a difference, but if more gamers stop using the word rape, it will soon diminish. 

Be a conscious gamer. Don’t use the word “rape” casually.

The Difficulties Of Being A Woman & A Gamer

*Note: If you're uncomfortable with the following words, please read this article carefully and feel free to ask the women in your life any questions or concerns you may have: Feminism, Feminist, Girl-Gamer, Sexism, Inequality*

Being a woman and a gamer is difficult. Yes, we may be verbally abused online, misrepresented in media, and placed on an unrealistic pedastol - but the real reason being a "girl gamer" is so difficult is that we're constantly expected to deal with extreme dualities.

Let me explain.

Women who game are always represented as either a)Attention seeking, hot, girlie-girl or b)boy-killing, ugly feminist. These are both extreme (offensive) stereotypes at opposite ends of the spectrum, yet acorrding to the game industry, media, and culture, we're all one or the other. We're shoved into one of these two options, no exceptions.

We're either this...

...or this.

 By wearing a cosplay that we worked extremely hard on of a character who may be sexualized (and what female video game character isn't?), we're automatically just doing it for male sexual attention. We're called a whore, who knows nothing about video games or cosplay. If we voice our true intentions of the cosplay (ie: showcasing our efforts and creative power), we're labeled as a feminist who's only wish is to be better than men. Anything that we say, even if it's just and well-argued, is nullified and excused under the pretense of being the ramblings of an unhappy feminist gamer.

We are trapped.

Why can't we enjoy gaming freely? I want to live in a world where I can be proud of my femininity, yet not treated differently than my male counterparts. All we want is equality and freedom. We don't want to be labelled by two extreme identities. We don't want to make an all-girl industry, or want every game to be about ponies and sandwich making. We just want to be ourselves and be respected for it.

Hopefully one day this world can be a reality. All that we can do to help the change is to be respectful of others - no matter who they are, where they came from, or what they enjoy. If we're open-minded, we can create a safe, welcome environment for gamers of all kinds. Not only will this improve the image of the gaming culture as a whole, but will encourage more innovation, diversity, and creativity in the industry. Everyone wins if sexism is diminished. 

As Always,
LadySnip3r

How to Wear Geeky Clothing (& Other Nonsense)

Someone please shoot me if I see another nerd (male or female) rocking the dingy, too large, black nerd tee with ripped jeans.
 I love nerdy attire/accessories, but I've always struggled with how and when to wear them. Here's a breakdown of some tips and tricks to looking fly and staying true to your hobbies:

Graphic Tee's
I understand the majority of graphic shirts are black, but try to stay away from ones with a single line of text on it (it just looks silly). To be honest, try to avoid text at all - it usually results in a look that appears to be trying way too hard. I'd recommend getting one with a more artsy feeling, rather than game or nerd related. It's way more versatile and looks great on pretty much everyone. I would also recommend staying away from over the top gory shirts, you just can't wear them out too much.

I'm the perfect example of what NOT to do...WAY too much nerd

Now that you've picked out your super cool graphic tee, when, where, and how should you wear it?! You can pretty much wear a graphic tee to any casual event (class, hanging out, movies, etc.), just make sure you mix it up every now and then (that means don't wear the same shirt all the time!).

See if you can spot the nerdy shirts hidden on w0lfspirittt and LadySnip3r, one's a wolf and one is a Team Rocket.

 For girls, I think graphic tees look great with a pair of skinny jeans and sneakers. It's classic, comfortable, and just the right amount of geek. For those wanting to make more of a fashion statement, I usually mix my graphic tees into odd outfits; try it with a cardigan and bootcut jeans for something laid back but mature looking, or wear tucked into a cute boxy skirt.

DarkSnip3r looking super classy in his N7 shirt.

For all you boys, tees look great with a nice pair of jeans. Now nice means no rips, tears, or dirt. I think a darker wash is very flattering, especially when worn with a dark shirt. However, be careful not to match your jean wash and shirt color. I would not really recommend wearing tees with cargos (I'm a little biased against them). I think it looks a little too laid back. If you want to mix it up a bit, add a cardigan or unbuttoned button up. You don't have to be a hipster to rock a man-cardigan, they add a bit of class to any outfit.

Accessories
So you just bought some real life cog tags, now when on earth can you wear them?! If you're going to do a super geeky accessory (like a replica from a video game), try to have that be you're only geeky apparel item. I would also recommend using accessories on the smaller side, so that only true geeks can really point out what you're wearing.

As much as I love huge belt buckles, they are very difficult to wear and have it look good. If you really need a metal icon of your favorite game or anime, get a simple key chain. 

I think one of the best places to rock your nerdy love is through technology. Put your phone and computer backgrounds as scenes from your favorite games, add sweet geeky decals to your laptop, or protect your phone or tablet with a nerdy case.


And there you have, just some tips on looking good and staying geeky. Thought of some fashion tips I forgot? Leave them in a comment and save the world from fashion disasters.

As always,
LadySnip3r

Nerdy Dating Post

I love nerds. I think most girls secretly do. I would have to say, hands down, my boyfriend Tyler and I are probably the nerdiest couple I know. Our idea of 'date' night involves some co-op or multiplayer video game, a home cooked meal, and maybe a game or two of Pokemon cards. I think stereotypical dates are really boring, so I've set it upon myself to create a list of fun, nerdy date ideas. Try them out yourself! ;)

Boyfriend + comic book store + Darth Vader = Amazing date!

1. Play a co-op or multiplayer game together. Good ones to start: Guitar Hero, Resident Evil 5, Gears of War, Halo, basically any that you feel comfortable playing. This is a great date idea for those long distance relationships. Even if you don't have the same games, get on Live or skype and chat while you play.
2. Take a mini vacation to a convention. Get a classy hotel for the weekend, and make it part romantic getaway, part ultimate gaming experience!
3. Do a matching cosplay together for said convention. Working on your cosplays together will, first of all, be fun and it will keep both of you dedicated and motivated. Cosplay is so much fun with two people.
4. Go to a midnight release of your favorite game. Some of my favorite date nights involved midnight releases. We usually like to play some of the demo or the previous game before the release to get pumped. Sometimes we even dress up for them. We made matching tee shirts for the Mass Effect 2 launch. 
5. Have a movie marathon. Good contenders: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Family Guy Star Wars, and basically any other nerdy trilogy.
6. Make your own 'achievements' and have fun unlocking them in your relationship. De-Glunk: first date complete. Can you 1000 point your love?
7. If you absolutely have to incorporate a little alcohol into your 'date', make your favorite video game into a drinking game OR try making a video game related drink together. You can find some great ideas here. My summer goal is to turn Sonic into a drinking game :P
8. Instead of giving traditional anniversary or valentine's day gifts - try having a nerdy gift-off. Pick a price and compete to find the greatest, coolest, nerdiest steal. Ideas may include: Collectible cards, figures, comics, favorite games but from Japan, geek tees, useless nerdy household items, etc. 

I realize a lot of these dates are more of fun things to do than actual dates, but give em a try and let me know what you think. If you've got any other suggestions leave a comment - I need some new creative nerdy date ideas! Also remember to apply for the Gamer of the Month at contact@assassionista.com.

As Always,
LadySnip3r

9 Things Gamer Girls HATE

The last time I countered an article about girl gamers I recieved a TON of feedback (both positive and negative). Well, I'm pushing my luck and try it again. This time I found an interesting article on 9 things Gamer girls hate from Gamesradar. I'm gonna dissect each argument and add my own insight and thoughts. Enjoy.

1. "Well, you don't look like a gamer..."

I actually agree with this one. Just because we don't fit into the two ends of the "gamer girl" spectrum (gross vs. hot) doesn't mean we aren't a serious gamer. You've probably already seen how I look (the internet has superpowers like that) and I would say that I'm average looking. With that being said, I don't wear the fact that I'm a gamer on my sleeve. I may appear like Gamer girl online, but I'm toned down in real life. Most people are surprised to hear that I game, and I kind of like that. However, I also wish the stereotypes of girl gamers were broken. I hate walking into Gamestop and being directed to the Wii section or asked if I'm shopping for my boyfriend. I think that with more women being proud of being a gamer, the stereotypes will change and maybe even diminish.

2. Honey, We're Heard Them All Before

It's true. For the most part, the online gaming community treats women as if they were from another planet. Dude, even though we game - we've still got lady parts...and no we don't want to make you a sandwich or marry you.

3. We Don't Always Want to Talk About Video Games

I consider myself a casual gamer. I game, it's one of my biggest passions, but not every second of every day. I've got a life; I work, I go to school, I socialize, and lastly, I game. I love talking about games, but I feel like being a gamer means you have to prove your authenticity. I think this is especially true with female gamers. Once again we're stereotyped on the extremes of the spectrum (hardcore gamers vs. ditsy n00bs). I can honestly say that I can hold my own on medium difficulty on most games, but put me in an online game and I will get my ass kicked. I don't think that makes me less of a 'gamer', but I feel that I'm treated that way (especially online). It's also similar with legitimate hardcore game titles vs. not so hardcore ones...but we'll get to that later...

4. Not Interested

I've already got my knight in shining armor. Plus being a dick online does NOT make women fall at your feet. If you really want to meet some via multiplayer get a friend request, send messages, and slowly build a relationship. However, I think the best place to meet another nerd is a convention or another social gaming event. It's easier to talk to someone when you know they have the same interests as you, and will help spark some conversations.

5. GameCrush

'Nuff said.
As much as I support all females who game, I cannot support this site. I think it's ridiculous to charge money for playing games. It's taking something innocent and adding a 'trashy' vibe to online multiplayer gaming. Wanna meet local singles on your Xbox? Just add hottie4Lyfe and let the conversations begin. Ew.

6. Most of Us Don't Like Chick Games

...I do. But I think I'm a rare exception. Even then, I like kid games way more than 'chick' games (Viva Pinata all the way :)). Chick games, although sometimes offensive, are still reaching an audience that might not have tried gaming. The more the merrier.

7. Stupid Female Character Outfits

I believe that game characters are designed with a mostly male audience in mind. This significantly influences how the character looks, talks, walks, etc. I also believe there is an incredibly fine line between sexy and skanky. I don't mind playing a video game as a 'sexy' female game character; hell, it makes it fun. On the otherhand, I strongly dislike playing as a 'skanky' character. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and a little ashamed of the game.

8. We Hate Going into Stores

I like going into stores just to shock people (as mentioned above, I don't really look like a typical female gamer). Interestingly enough, I don't like going into the stores alone. I feel like I'm being judged and/or not legitimate enough when I glance at the newest DS titles. I think gaming stores should offer a more female friendly environment. Maybe more women staff, encourage female gaming tournaments, etc.

9. GRRRL Gamers

Hey, I think female gamers should stick together, especially online. I love the fact that gamer girls have an innate community just because of the fact that we're female. It joins us. I also think it's a great way to meet other women who game.

In conclusion, I somewhat agree with the article - but I believe that all gamer girl stereotypes can be changed into something positive. Have a great weekend and stay tuned for a new segment on Assassionista, Gamer of the Month.
As Always,
LadySnip3r

PS. Anyone got some ideas for a guy version? I think it would be interesting to compare some gender stereotypes, especially in gaming.

Interview with Susan Arendt

I was lucky enough to interview Susan Arendt this week about her thoughts on gaming. She is the Senior Editor of the gaming magazine The Escapist. I caught up with her after an intense lunch session of D&D. She's got some great advice for new gamers and an interesting perspective on women in the industry. This is the first interview in my new segment called, Dames who Game.

LadySnip3r: Well, how about we start with you telling me a little about what you do at The Escapist?

Susan: Oh, ok, sure. well, my official title is Senior Editor. I oversee production of the weekly magazine - that's the feature articles we publish every week - I'm the news director, I produce three video series, work with columnists and cartoonists, and also review games and write the odd article here and there

LadySnip3r: Wow, how do you manage to find any time to play games?

Susan: Well, fortunately, I'm married to a fellow gamer who understands "Saturday is devoted to Dragon Age" and similar statements.

LadySnip3r: Oh, that's good. What are your Saturdays being used for now? What are you currently playing?

Susan: Well, we were playing Portal 2 this past weekend, so that was pretty much the whole weekend. The co-op is a blast

LadySnip3r: That's great to hear - I picked up a copy yesterday but haven't had a chance to play it yet. 

LadySnip3r: What was the first video game you ever played?

Susan: Pong. or, well, a Pong knockoff. It wasn't mine - I played it at a friend's house. It might have been "video tennis" or something like that.

LadySnip3r: Did it spark your love of gaming? If not, what game did?

Susan: It's hard to pinpoint any one game that did it, but certainly getting a Sears VCS - that was the other version of the Atari 2600 - was a key moment. I played so much Space Invaders that I could clear the first level with my eyes shut just from muscle memory. It was amazing to me that I could be controlling things on the screen

LadySnip3r: I've been doing a segment on the blog written for new gamers. I've got some friends that are just getting back into gaming (since the NES years) and finding that it's definitely a very exclusive club to be considered an authentic gamer. What games would you recommend for gamers just starting out? And do you have any tips or lessons you've learned gaming that you'd like to pass on to beginners?

Susan: Well, that's a tough question to answer, because the most important thing to know is - what kind of entertainment do you like? Do you like mysteries? Puzzles? Action movies? There's no one right fit for a new gamer. I think that's a big part of what puts newbies off from gaming. It’s that people don't try to tailor their advice to them. Rather than figuring out, hey, what game would actually be a good fit for you, people tend to just push the games they like best

LadySnip3r: That's an excellent point, and actually some great advice. 

LadySnip3r: So let's talk about women and gaming. Who is your favorite female video game character and why?

Susan: Oh, there are many. Lara. Vanessa.  Kate Walker. Cate Archer. But all for largely the same reason - they're smart, independent, and don't *need* rescuing - which isn't to say they would mind if it happened every now and again

LadySnip3r: Do you think that being a woman impacts how you perceive games? Does this influence what games you choose to play or write about?

Susan: Being a woman impacts everything I do...because it's part of who I am, the same way being my age impacts everything I do, or being from Pennsylvania impacts everything I do, or being a nerd impacts everything I do. Change any one of those factors, and I'd inevitably be a different person. The games I write about, I write about because I believe I have something to say about them, and because I want to share them with readers. I love it when people tell me "I never would've played this game if it weren't for you, and I loved it!". I try to talk about games that are a little offbeat, maybe lesser known.

LadySnip3r: The amount of women in the gaming industry and culture has been really increasing in the past couple years. What do you think this mean for video games in the future? If anything.

Susan: Well, we tend to relate to people a bit better when we can identify with them. If you're a young girl, and encounter two people talking about games, one male, one female, you're probably going to want to identify with the female.

So the more women talking about games, the more women we'll have talking about games, if you take my meaning. But also, the more *people* we have talking about games, the better. The more voices you have talking about something, the more likely it is you'll have a wide variety of things being said and that's always good.

LadySnip3r: That's very true. Do you think this will result in games with a more 'female' audience in mind? (and that aren't Cake Mania or Fashion Runway - no offence to games like that, but you know what I mean)

Susan: As more women begin designing games, we will, more than likely, get more games that female players of all kinds will embrace. But let's be clear on something - "girly" games are just as valid as non girly ones. A lot of women say they want more girls playing games, but what they really mean is they want more girls playing games they approve of.

LadySnip3r: I totally agree, I just meant more a complex female audience being targeted.

Susan: They sneer at Imagine Babiez and Cake Mania and anything that isn't hardcore - ignoring the fact that, hey, some girls just plain like sparkle pink ponies. I don’t think the issue with women playing games or not is as much about the games as we tend to think it is.

LadySnip3r: That's very true. It's extremely difficult to appear 'authentic' or legitimate in the hardcore gaming scene. 

LadySnip3r: My last question, What does being a female gamer mean to you?

Susan: I'm not a female gamer. I'm a gamer who happens to be female.

Hope you all enjoyed the interview, there will be more to come in the future. 

As always,
LadySnip3r

Stepping into the World of Gaming...

In the grand scheme of video gaming experience, you know--beginner, novice, expert, n00b, pwner--you can probably consider me an infant. I am by no means a gamer (as of yet), but maybe I can get there with a little help from you.

Allow me to introduce myself...I am w0lfspirit, and I will soon be investing in my very first Xbox360. Up until now, I have only had experience with the old school stuff: NES/SNES, Sega Genesis, Dreamcast, N64, PS1/2, Wii, Gameboy Colour and I have very recently stepped into the wonderful world of NintendoDS and Pokemon TCG. I assure you that I can pwn you at Super Mario 3 for NES; however, give me an Xbox360 shooter game and I’d probably shoot myself first before understanding what happened. But I’ll get there eventually, have no fear.

When my good friend LadySnip3r approached me to co-blog, I had no idea how I could possibly contribute. I thought maybe some reviews; but since I’m so out of the loop, reading my review on Black-Ops would be old news, and I could not possibly do a better review on Pokèmon Black and White than LadySnip3r herself. She asked me to think about gaming and what it’s like getting into it. So what, maybe I’m not a crazy gamer right now but that’s ok with me. I still have the passion to take this wherever I want to go and learn as much as I can along the way. In the mean time, it turns out that I could write an entire blog on what it’s like starting to game and thus far this is what I’ve learned....

Lesson #1: Time Management

I am a typical university student; I have a lot of stuff on my plate and I usually feel like essays and readings take up the majority of my life. That is exactly where time management has come into play. I have recently invested into a Nintendo DS and have started to play Pokèmon Black. Thus far, I love it. It makes me nostalgic for my childhood, when Pokèmon Red/Blue/Yellow owned my life. However, playing Pokèmon Black at my age is a completely different game considering I now want to train all my Pokèmon to equal ability and win every battle so I can earn lots of Pokèdollars. I’m already 20 hours and 55 minutes in and I’m not even close to being the very best like no one ever was. Where did all that time go?!

Currently, I’m in the middle of exams and it has been tricky to get game time in while balancing the very important studying that I have to do. What has worked best for me is a very silly reward system. For example, in preparation for my English exam a few days ago I needed to read Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. At first I really couldn’t concentrate. I was in the middle of trying to beat the Nimbasa City Gym and those Emolga were getting the best of me every time. The only way I could get myself through was with a silly little calculation...

5 minutes of reading my way through the Darkness and then 5 minutes of kicking some lightning gym butt. The reward system works well in any situation. If anything, it will help you get through that other, non-gaming stuff so much faster. As long as you have the discipline, this works great.

Really, how lame is that? Why am I writing a blog about how I manage my time? I guess all that I really want to prove to you and to myself is that game life + real life is doable. I’m learning things like that right now. They may be simple and maybe even common sense, but an infant needs to grow into a toddler at some point. Keep following me through my journey into the world of gaming. It’ll be quite the adventure.

Until next time,

w0lfspirit

Ten Reasons TO Date Girl Gamers Post

I saw this article on reasons why NOT to date Girl Gamers while perusing the internet and thought to myself, "wow, this is sexist." So I decided to take it upon myself to right this wrong and post 10 reasons why you should date gamer girls.

1. You Share Common a Interest

This will give the two of you something special that you can do together on nights at home. It will give you something to love (besides each other) and it will strengthen your friendship by focusing on something outside of your relationship. She might even encourage your own passion for gaming.

2. Teach Each Other New Gaming Skills.
Being different gamers, you will each have a different skill set or specialty. She may be amazing at RPGs, and he can kick ass on FPS. You can teach each other some new skills to expand your gaming collection. You can help her use both sticks to aim and move, while she can teach you all about side quests.

3. Experience New Games

By dating a gamer girl, you may be introduced to some new games and genres that you typically wouldn't play. It's like having your own personal video game recommender. She knows you better than anyone, trust her when she says you'll like Viva Pinata.

4. We are Laidback

Have you ever heard of a uncool gamer girl? I seriously haven't. I know there are tons of stereotypes, but think of the 'real' gamer girls that you know. We're chill. I mean, we have to be for all the crap we put up with on Live :P

5. We Will Always Know What Games To Buy You

You ask for video games for every birthday, anniversary, and any other celebration. We know exactly which ones to get you without even asking. We might even surprise you with super rare collectible stuff from your favorite game, tickets to gaming conventions, and that new Xbox controller. Only catch is that we expect the same ;)

6. Always Have Someone to Do Co-Op Achievements With

We need them too!

7. Promotes Confidence in Life and in Gaming

Video gaming together will improve how you support each other and will often result in confidence in your gaming ability and self esteem. Whenever you get killed or fail a challenge, support each other by saying, "Don't worry, we'll get 'em next time".You will always have her to encourage you and vice versa.

8. We Understand That You Will Go Into Hiding When the Gears of War 3 Beta Comes Out

We won't hassle or nag you about it. We will be in our own video game cave chainsawing Locusts. This is the same for any new game.

9. We Will Always Stay Lady-Like

We won't trash talk or swear at stupid kids. We are lady gamers and we will be classy. We will always maintain our femininity while pwning. Remember we are gamer GIRLS.

10. Gamer Girls are Straight Up Awesome

We pwn and that is why you love us.

I hope together we can change stereotypes of Girl and Guy Gamers and create a community of gender equality. I will be working on a short video and maybe an article on the topic of gender in gaming in the near future, any volunteer interviewees would be great! Thanks for hearing out my little rant.

As always,
LadySnip3r